Dear Cupid, I Want You Dead
by SwagSammich78
Summary: A drabble series featuring our favorite Inuyasha cast as they face the one demon none of them can kill: Romance! Why is Kagome so obsessive over a Valentine's Day/Wedding party, what's with all the flowers, and why is Naraku wearing a dress? MirSan InuKag
1. The Affair of Affairs

Okay, trying this again since I accidentally deleted it the first time...is it just me or do you get reaaally annoyed when something deletes, because you know it will never be as good as the original? Yeah. Me too. Anyways, this is just a drabble series I'm doing because...I felt like it. I couldn't resist. It may not be updated as much as my other two fics because it's just to add some humor in between my other dramatic/humor lacking stories. Anyways, enjoy!

Disclaimer: i don't own Inuyasha. Otherwise he wouldn't be as domestically abused as he is with Kagome.

* * *

Dear Cupid, I Want You Dead

_The Affair of Affairs_

Being from the feudal Era, Inuyasha had no idea what the days of the week were. He'd never really bothered to pay attention to Kagome's rants about them; something about Mondays, Tuesdays, er, whimsdays, doomsdays and some day about french fries. Whenever she got on the subject of that or some other useless topic that didn't appeal to him he'd simply occupy his leisure time by cleaning his Tetsusaiga with his Kimono, or dig out questionable substances from underneath his toenails, flicking them onto Shippou whenever he appeared. The small fox demon's vest was ass ugly anyway. Who would notice a few more unknown bits of goop on it?

It wasn't that Inuyasha didn't respect what Kagome had to say; he did love her, after all. But when she got on her high horse and began flapping that never quiet trap of hers away about stupid things such as Trigonometry, raised gas prices, and other ridiculous things he didn't care (or have a clue) about, he'd simply block her out and flick stones over the water of the river, or swat flies with the handy fly swatter Kagome had brought back from her time. A few murmurs of agreement here and there, and his "beloved" would never even notice.

Today was no exception.

"So, I know Sango's really modest and Miroku's really not enthusiastic about the whole idea, but I know they'll be after they see what I have planned!" The jewel hunting miko was exclaiming that particularly cheerful sunny afternoon, the light breeze blowing her raven locks over her shoulders. She was scribbling away in a spiral notebook that was on her lap, Kirara resting beside the schoolgirl. Inuyasha yawned, sprawled on the grass across from her.

"Uh huh."

"At first I wasn't going to invite that many people because like I said, Sango can be pretty shy." Kagome was talking a mile a minute and the hanyou didn't even bother to keep up. "But then I realized that would be practically impossible. After all, if we're going to do this thing in my era, my mom would want to be there, along with Sota and grandpa, and my friends, and some other people from school-" Kagome was very tactful not to mention Hojo's name, but Inuyasha was too busy tuning her out and didn't even notice.

"Yup."

"Besides, I figured we might as well invite Naraku, to at least try and make amends. You know, after the whole trapping him in the jewel thing. It's miraculous he got out, but whatever."

"It is."

"And if I invite Naraku he's going to want to invite Kagura, and Kanna, and that horrible mutated Hakudoshi boy. That kids freaks me out. Did you see the way he was staring at poor Shippou's butt the other day when we went to visit that one village?"

"Mhmm."

"I know! Sick. But it would be rude not to invite them, even though I keep worrying they're going to blow your cover if they're over in my time. But whatever, it's not like my family doesn't have the capability of being weird already. We live on a Shrine, for goodness sake-"

"Yup."

"Are you even listening to me?" Kagome asked, an eyebrow arched. Inuyasha gave her a false smile, his ears twitching slightly.

"Of course."

Kagome smiled back, her head dropping back down as she scribbled more in her notebook. "And we can't forget Kaede, Sango and Miroku, since this is partly for them in the first place, Kohaku, Kikyou-"

At the mention of the name _Kikyou_, Inuyasha bolted up, his eyes wide with surprise. "Did you really just say her name without any hostility?" He asked, slightly awed, slightly afraid. Who was this imposter and what had she done with his Kagome?

Kagome looked up again, her pen frozen. "Well, yeah," She said with a small shrug. Even Kirara had lifted her head, her eyes wide with surprise. "It's not Kikyou's fault she was brought back to the land of the living against her will. And she is trying to get on with her life, even though she can't erase the memories of her past."

Inuyasha blinked. "Okay," he said slowly. "Are you on that...what's that stuff called from your time you told me about...mary-jew-wanna?"

"You mean, marijuana? Crack?"

"Yeah! That stuff!"

"Probably." Kagome shrugged again. "I'm just too busy to be bothered with her anymore. What she does isn't my problem."

"Um...okay."

"Well, unless she makes another move on you," Kagome said casually, resuming her scribbling. "Then I'll have to send her on a one way train to hell again."

While her line would usually be impressive to the threat-appreciating Inuyasha, he was instead left confounded and clueless. "What's a train?"

Kagome sighed. "Don't worry about that right now. Just tell me what you think about the roses."

Inuyasha's ear twitched. "W-What?"

Kagome looked at him with bright brown eyes. "The roses, silly!" She said, her smile warm. "The roses you said you'd go look at for me on Saturday!" Her smile suddenly faltered. "You. Did. Go. Saturday. Right?"

"Is that the day after smack day?"

Kagome's nose wrinkled. "What?"

"You know, that one day that comes after that day with some kind of food, before the one of doom."

Kagome blinked. She then sighed, rubbing her temples. "So you didn't go. Did you?" Her eyes suddenly narrowed with realization. "This whole time I've been talking about the Wedding Party Valentine's Day bash and you haven't even been listening to me! Have you?"

Inuyasha cringed, expecting for Kagome to yell, but was surprise to see the hurt expression that fell across her face instead. "I-I meant to!" He piped up, scrambling forward so that he was eye level with Kagome. "I just...forgot to pay attention."

The sudden demented look that flashed in Kagome's eyes had Inuyasha recoil back in a horrible realization. Holy-

"SIT!"

_Thud._The hanyou didn't even bother attempting to get up from the ten foot crater his body had dug into the ground, knowing it would be futile. Sure enough...

"SIT! Sit sit sit sit!"

"Ka-" _thud_ "Go-" _thud_ "Me-" _thud thud_.

"You never listen to me!" Kagome screamed. She had risen to her feet and her fists were clenched, her chest heaving up and down. As if _she'd _been the one slammed into the ground multiple times. "I've been planning everything and working non stop for weeks! While all you do is sit around on your big lazy butt and play with your stupid sword and-"

"I'm sorry!" Inuyasha practically sobbed, wondering if his leg was supposed to be in the angle it was currently in. "I meant to, but I was always distracted by Miroku's never ending flirting with Sango! And then he said he'd come with me to get them but he kept procrastinating!" Yup. Blaming everything on the pervert would work in his favor. At least he hoped it would. "And my butt isn't big!" He added angrily, his cheeks crimsoning.

"What?" Miroku asked, coming up beside Kagome, overhearing the majority of the conversation while sitting near the river with Sango. "I would never ignore lady Kagome, when she's trying to do such a kind hearted thing for us." Miroku gave her a dazzling smile. "It's so wonderful having a sweet, dedicated girl like you around."

Kagome gave Miroku a wide smile, hugging her notebook she'd bent down to retrieve to her chest. "Really?" She snorted. 'At least someone around here appreciates me."

Inuyasha snorted himself, his face still in the dirt. _"Asskisser."_

"What was that?" Kagome asked sweetly.

"Nothing." Inuyasha deemed it safe to peek over the hole before rising to his feet, winding his arms in a circular motion to stretch out his muscles. Kagome instantly brightened.

"Well now that you're both here," She said cheerfully, as if she hadn't bee furious less than two seconds ago. "You can both run to the florist for me!" Kagome shoved the bruised hanyou and the monk towards the well, slapping a sheet of paper into Inuyasha's hand. "This is where the Florist is. Just use the jewel to take Miroku to my time with you, and go pick out the flowers! You can ask a florist for help." She began to dance on the balls of her feet in excitement. "And while you're gone, Sango and I can start on the guest lists, and the menu, and the decorations, and the music, and the-"

"Okay, we're going now, don't want to keep the florist waiting, bye!" Inuyasha blurted, shoving Miroku down the well before jumping in himself. Miroku smirked at him as they fell through the stone transporter. Inuyasha glared.

"What?" He snapped sourly. "I couldn't keep listening to her! She was going to drive me insane!"

"She is," Miroku pointed out matter-of-factly. "Your girlfriend."

"Don't," Inuyasha groused. "Remind me."

"I heard that!" Kagome's voice rang from the top of the well. "SIT!"

_Thud._

* * *

_Up next: Inuyasha's Guide to Flowers_

Ya'll go an review now, ya hurd? haha

-Kelsey


	2. Inuyasha's Guide to Flowers

Big thanks to Kokoronagomu, my first reviewer. Who reviews not only this fic, but every other one of my stories. And some of you can't even leave a one worded review for ONE.

Pathetic. :wink:

Eh. long as someone's reading, it's fine by me. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. How sad is that?

* * *

Dear Cupid, I Want You Dead

_Inuyasha's Guide To Flowers_

Inuyasha may not have been an expert on Kagome's era, but his knowledge was broadened on some subjects more than others. For example, the big demon thingies, "air-row plains" that flew in the sky all the time? He'd gotten used to seeing them and no longer tried to use his windscar to shoot them out of the sky (but only because Kagome had sat him at least a million times the one time he did). And the math problems Kagome was always complaining about? He didn't see the problem with them! The answers were always the same: just ask the person who made up the damn problem.

But one thing neither him or Miroku were sure of...

"What the hell is a florist?"

Inuyasha and Miroku sauntered down the cheerful streets of Tokyo, Miroku's sandals making a flopping noise against the pavement and Inuyasha's bare feet keeping in step beside them. The two couldn't help but give the passerbys puzzled looks; they were all wearing over-sized coats and scarfs, thick boots and other closed in shoes on their feet. They were acting like it was so cold!

And okay, there was little white snowflakes falling in tiny flurries out of the sky, but so what? Big babies. It had to be what, summer?

"Mommy, why is that tall guy with the hat walking around with no shoes in winter?" A small girl with two lopsided pigtails asked, tugging on her mother's coat as the pair passed. The woman wrinkled her nose in disapproval.

"Honey, you just ignore the strange men," She cooed in an assuring tone, pushing her daughter ahead of her. "Crazy lunatics," she muttered under her breath.

"So, what exactly are we getting thse flowers from this..._Florist _place for?" Miroku asked, casting repeated nervous glances around him. "Kagome's time sure is...lively." He added with mild fascination.

"I don't know!" Inuyasha snapped, sticking his tongue out at a little boy who wouldn't stop staring at him, his blue eyes wide with wonder. "Kagome just starts talking and I just get bored, so I ignore her." He sighed. "You sure are lucky Sango doesn't rant and rave about pointless and stupid...Miroku?" Inuyasha glanced around. "Miroku!"

He finally spotted Miroku across the street near some stone statue of a human with water pooling in the bottom of it (A futon? Found-tian?), his arms crossed and a sly grin on his face. Two giggling girls were in front of him, their cheeks pink and their skirts so short you could probably see their "goodies" if the wind blew hard enough.

So it _wasn't _just Kagome who felt the need to wear a lack of clothes!

"So, ladies," Miroku was saying in a silky smooth voice, his eyebrows waggling. Inuyasha wanted to gag. "Nature may behold infinite beauty, but I've never seen anything quite as radiant as you."

The line was so cheesy and even worse, the girls were eating right out of the palm of his lecherous hand! "Well, you aren't too bad looking yourself, handsome," one of the girls said, resting her hand on his shoulder. "The dress has got to go, but-"

"It's a robe," Miroku said, slightly frowning.

"Whatever." The girl flipped her light brown hair over her shoulder, her friend putting her hand on Miroku's other shoulder. He grinned.

"Oh Miroku!" Inuyasha called, tromping over to his side, his face in a perfectly innocent expression. The girls turned their heads to glance at him, their eyelids raised in bewilderment at his attire. And they'd thought the monk was oddly dressed... "We have to get over to that flower shop if we're going to find the perfect blooms for your _fiancee_!"

On the word "fiancee" the girls' jaws dropped, their eyes rapidly filling with anger. "You're engaged?" They asked in unison, their voices raised. Miroku's eye twitched.

"Ladies, ladies!" He started, but their hands were already reeling back, their eyes filled with disgust.

_Smack!_

_Smack!_

"Ouch." Inuyasha tried his best to suppress his snickering as the girls flounced away, their noses in the air and their mouths in a thin line. Miroku was standing motionless on the sidewalk, two glaring red hand prints on each side of his face. "You know, I think they might have heard the sound of those hits in my era."

"Be quiet." Miroku glared at him. "That wasn't funny."

"Are you sure this marriage thing is right for you?" The hanyou asked. "Because anytime you go around hitting on girls who are most likely no older than fourteen, that's considered a bad sign. In fact, I think Kagome told me a word for that once...pedophilia, I believe?"

"Let's just go to this shop of flowers," Miroku grumbled between clenched teeth, heading for the street. "The faster we get back through the well the faster I can- oh good god!"

Inuyasha grabbed his collar just before he was flattened to the ground by a big monster looking contraption, a loud blast of sound blaring from it and an angry man shaking his fist towards the cowering monk. "Oy! What in the world was _that _thing?!"

"Kagome calls them cars," Inuyasha said in a slow drone, as if Miroku were dense. "And they hit morons like you who don't look both ways before crossing the road." He let go of Miroku's collar. "Idiot."

After another half an hour wandering aimlessly around Inuyasha decided the directions Kagome gave him could just go to hell and tossed them in a trashcan, relying on his nose to guide them instead. A few more distractions (Miroku became completely fascinated by a churro stand at one of the street corners), a couple of points in the right direction from helpful natives, and a sniff here and there later, Inuyasha and Miroku were standing in front of a slightly run down, brick crumbling building. Inuyasha's eyes scanned across the sign that sat atop the low roof:

_Amia Toshinki's Memorial Memories: Because once they're dead and forgotten in the ground, somebody needs to pretend to care._

"Great! Found it!" Inuyasha nodded in triumph, heading for the door. Miroku's eyebrows raised in reluctance.

"Are you sure?" He asked slowly, examining the sign. "Kagome makes this celebration thing she'd throwing sound like a joyous occasion. This place sounds just plain sad."

"Well, they've got flowers." Inuyasha nodded towards the floral arrangements in the display window. "So I ain't complaining. Now hurry up so we can get back. My feet are cold."

The pair pulled open the glass doors, stepping inside the shop. It was considerably colder than outside, and a lot darker, give or take a few candles scattered throughout the store. A bored woman dressed in all black with multiple piercings was behind a counter, a long smoking stick in her mouth (Kagome had called them "death sticks" Inuyasha remembered), flipping through some kind of book.

"Welcome to Amia Toshinki's Memorial Memories," The girl droned, not even bothering to look up. "Like the slogan, somebody needs to pretend to care. That's why I'm here." She looked up. "That and I need money to pay for my therapy bills. May I help you?"

Inuyasha blinked. This girl was creepy. "Um...yeah," He said awkwardly, scratching his neck. "I'm kind of looking for some flowers for my girlfriend. For a party."

The girl gave him a bored look. "You guys celebrate deaths or something?" She smirked. "Cool."

"Um, no! It's a...what did she say...Valentine's Day celebration?" Inuyasha wrinkled his nose. "Or something like that. And he got engaged so we're celebrating that to." Inuyasha pointed towards Miroku, who was lingering by the front door. The girl rested her chin in her hands.

"Why are you wearing a dress?" She asked the monk. He raised an eyebrow.

"Why do you have a ring sticking in your nose?" He asked, genuinely curious. The girl snorted.

'Weak comeback." She held up her book again. "Look, don't waste my time. I already have two arrangements to do for a funeral today and I don't need cupid-seeking-morons distracting me." She sighed. "It's bad enough the satanic salespeople have been coming in here, hounding me with their frigging red and pink all day."

"Funeral arrangements? Cupid-seeking?" Inuyasha blinked, puzzled. "What's a coopid-"

As if on cue, the door to the shop suddenly banged open and a man dressed in what looked to be an over-sized diaper galloped in, angel wings on his back and an over eager grin on his pasty face. A massive, frilly pink decorated cart was behind him and he was wearing a pink t shirt that read _Ask me about deliveries!_

"Hello, friends!" He sad grandly, throwing out his arms, not noticing Miroku's look of horror or him scurrying away from the door, his eyes wide. He gestured towards his cart, beckoning the half demon forward. "I am cupid, here to make this Valentine's day the best one you've ever had! Check out these amazing deals on our new merchandise!"

"What...are you...talking about?" Inuyasha managed to gasp through his shock, his eyes twitching and his arm raised protectively in front of him, hand in a fist. The man's grin stretched from ear to ear.

"I'll show you!" He began pulling random, over-sized contraptions off the cart, explaining them as he spoke at the speed of lightning. "Confetti!" A small, sparkling pink cylinder suddenly popped, shooting millions of tiny pieces of shiny paper over the store in various shades of pink, red, white, and silver. "Balloons!" He gestured towards the three dozen helium filled balloons shaped like red hearts tied to the side of the cart. "Candy!" He excitedly tossed a handful of heart-shaped candies in the air, one of them flying smack into Miroku's forehead. "Chocolate!"

Inuyasha put a hand over his mouth, covering his nose with his sleeve. Call it the dog in him, but chocolate had always made him sick. Hence why he avoided it like the plague whenever Kagome brought some back to his time for Shippou and the others.

"And best of all..." The man reached behind his back, as if he'd saved the best for last. "Stuffed animals!"

His hands came from behind him and grasped in them was a huge, stuffed bear. One of the extreme cuddly sort. One with a big, stupid grin and a heart in the middle of his furry potbelly, his coal black eyes seeming to stare into Inuyasha's own golden ones. His arms were outstretched, and "cupid" pressed his stomach in with his thumb.

_"I wuv you!" _The bear said in a goofy voice. _"Give me a hug!"_

"AHHHH!" Inuyasha and Miroku shrieked; Miroku covered his eyes, yelling "Ghastly!" And Inuyasha whipped out his tetsusaiga from his side, swinging it over his head with a primitive battle cry. The man let out a scream.

"What-"

"Wind scar!" Inuyasha bellowed, hitting the cart with another growl, the entire collage of "evil" merchandise bursting into flame and exploding in a mass of pink, white, and red. The man in the diaper fell to the floor, his hands over his head and the girl behind the counter let out a terrified shriek. Inuyasha and Miroku made a wild dash out of the store forgetting to preserve even a shred of dignity; they sprinted at top speed with their arms waving over their heads, shrieking like hysterical maniacs and ignoring the shocked looks they were given from people around them.

"Demon...bear!" Inuyasha panted.

"Condemned...era...of evil!" Miroku shouted. "Save us!"

Within record breaking time the duo had made it back to the shrine and all but threw themselves into the well; Inuyasha's knees were knocking together in terror and Miroku's breath was coming in shallow gasps. Within a few seconds, however, bright sunlight filled the well and a soft breeze drifted down in their tight space. The two let out sighs of relief.

"Kagome's time sure can be scary," Inuyasha breathed, taking a deep gulp of air, his hand on his chest. "I don't know what coopid's deal was, but I hope him and Kagome's "Valentine's day" burn in hell!"

Miroku gathered enough composure to give the hanyou an irritated glare.

"Something tells me," he said. "That we went to the wrong store."

* * *

Road test tomorrow. :panics: Had to get the nerves out some kind of positive way.

_Next Chapter: Sango's Guide to Guests_


	3. Sango's Guide To Guests

As I was doing this chapter, I had to look up a couple things to make sure I didn't mess up the true meaning of "White Day", and I came across "Black Day" as well. I have to say, Black day really made me laugh. A lot. Cheers to being single :)

...why did my baby brother just crawl into my dog's cage...?!

And why did I listen to "Walk It Out" the entire time I wrote this? Honestly, today is one weird day.

Disclaimer: I would claim Inuyasha...but jail doesn't seem fun enough for me to stay there. :(

* * *

Dear Cupid, I Want You Dead

_Sango's Guide to Guests_

Sango loved Kagome. Really, she did. The younger girl was like a sister she'd never had, someone smart and wise whom she could confide in about things she wouldn't dare go into detail about with other people.

But honestly, the girl freaked her out at times. And this was one of them.

"Okay, so I was thinking of doing a theme, but then I realized how lame themes were," Kagome babbled on, pacing Kaede's hut in her socks, pen cap pressed up to her lip and her eyebrows furrowed in thought. Kirara paced alongside her, occasionally trying to nip at her socked toes. "That doesn't mean we can't at least have a color scheme, though."

Sango nodded, although she had no clue whatsoever what she was going on about. She knew that Kagome had been over-enthusiastic when Miroku had announced their engagement a month ago and was planning some kind of celebration, but this Valentine's day thing? What did that have to do with anything?

"But I decided to just wait until after we've at least planned out the guest list to see what colors would work best with each other," the girl went on. "I've already produced a list, but you can check to make sure I didn't forget anyone." She pulled a sheet of paper from within her notebook and handed it over to Sango, who had been sitting patiently in a corner of the hut, secretly hoping that if she hid long enough Kagome would forget she was there. Kaede, who was sitting in the center of the room and stirring something in a large black pot, shook her head and sighed.

"Kagome, my child," She said. "What are you going on about?"

"Why is no one listening to me?" Kagome wailed. "I've been talking about this for practically three weeks and you guys are still ignoring me!"

"Because we have no idea what ye's going on about!" Kaede replied, her good eye blinking. "Only you know what goes on in that brain of yours."

"And only you know what's hidden behind that dumb patch of yours," Kagome retorted under her breath. Kaede didn't hear her, but Shippou and Kirara turned towards each other, their eyebrows raised.

"Ooh. Burn!" Shippou laughed, high fiving (or pawing) Kirara. Sango gave Kagome an apologetic smile.

"Maybe it wouldn't harm you to explain this to me one more time though, Kagome," She said. Kagome turned towards her, a smile covering her face.

"Sure, Sango!" She chirped, sitting down across from her and smoothing the creases out of her skirt. "As you know, I'm planning a celebration for you and Miroku's engagement."

"Right. But..." Sango sighed, rubbing her temples. "What's Valentine's Day?"

"Huh? Oh! Right!" Kagome beamed. "Valentine's day is a day we celebrate on February 14th. Girls usually give guys gifts like chocolate or something sentimental like that, then on White Day, guys give girls stuff back!"

Sango's brow creased. "White Day?"

"Yup. And then, if you suck enough and don't get any gifts then, you usually end up celebrating Black Day..."

Now Sango was truly baffled. "_Black _Day?"

"Uh huh! Black day is when single people who didn't get anything get together and eat noddles with black bean sauce. Kind of fun, actually. me and a few of my friends celebrated it in seventh grade."

"Huh." Sango shook her head. "Any other colored days I should know about?"

Kagome bit her lip. "I always kind of wondered what Yom Kipper was..."

Sango rolled her eyes and scanned the momentarily forgotten list that Kagome had given her. "Hmm. Me...Miroku...Inuyasha...You...Kaede..._Kikyo_?" Her eyes flew to Kagome's face. "Are you serious?"

Kagome stiffened. "Yes-"

"Are you on...what's that stuff Inuyasha told me about from your era-"

"No! i'm not on crack! Why is everyone saying that?"

Sango sighed, checking the list out again. "You're inviting _Kouga_?"

Kagome appeared defensive. "So?"

"So? Inuyasha's going to kill him!"

"Will not." Kagome's chin rose. "Inuyasha will be mature about the entire thing, I'm sure."

"Oh, yeah? Does he _know _Kouga's coming?" Kagome's frown deepened. "You know, Kouga did swear a vendetta on him. He still blames Inuyasha for losing his jewel shards in his legs."

"That's all in the past!" Kagome declared, waving her hand at the girl.

"It was a month and three days ago!" Sango replied, slightly impatient.

"Ye two should both calm down," Kaede advised in a calm voice.

"Ye should mind your own business," Kagome mumbled. She instantly felt bad. That darn Inuyasha was starting to rub off on her!

"Ooh! Another burn!" Shippou laughed, slapping Kirara's paw again. "Kagome 2. Kaede 0."

"Mew," Kirara agreed.

Sango continued to stare at the list. Her eyes widened. "Are you kidding me?!"

"What?"

She held up the paper, jamming her finger to one of the names. "Lord Kuranoske?! Kagome, get real! Miroku would-"

"What, get mad?" Kagome snorted. "Please. Why should he get mad?"

"Because I don't know...the guy _proposed _to me?" Sango replied sardonically. Kagome waved a hand.

"It was fair game then!" She exclaimed. "It's not like Miroku knew how you felt, or you knew how he felt. Besides, all he does is flirt with anything with a butt. Why should you care how he'll react seeing an old flame?"

"Um, we never dated," Sango reminded her.

"Sure."

"Really, we didn't."

"Okay. If you say so."

Sango shook her head and resumed staring at the list. "Who's Eri, Yuka, Ayumi, Hojo-"

"Oh, just people from my era," Kagome claimed with yet another wave of her hand. Sango gave her a skeptical look but chose not to comment.

"Okay..." She closed her mouth but within seconds it had flew open once again. "Wait, WHAT?!" She shrieked. "Kagura, Kanna, Hakudoshi, NARAKU??"

"Well," Kagome explained in a tiny voice. "It would be rude not to, after all we've put them through-"

"What's wrong with you?" Sango yelled. "He killed my family!"

"He killed mine, too!" Shippo added from a few feet away.

"He killed my sister," Kaede interjected from the other side of the hut.

"Mew," Kirara put in, licking her paws.

"He burned down my village!" An old man cried out, wobbling near the doorway.

"He fed my baby to a demon!" Another woman yelled in the distance.

"Well, who asked you?" Kagome snapped at him. "In fact, who are you people? Get out of here!"

The man scurried away, and the woman's voice from the distance faded away. Kagome rolled her eyes. "The idiots are so useless he doesn't even have a name..."

"Kagome, I understand you want to make peace," Sango tried, while inwardly wondering if Kagome was sane. "It's your nature. But I'm pretty sure inviting them is a bad idea."

"I'm pretty sure this whole thing is a bad idea," The old man muttered again.

"I thought you left?" Kagome yelled. "What are you waiting for? Clear out of here!"

"I appreciate all of this, but maybe he's right," Sango insisted. "I like celebrations as much as the next person, but Miroku and I-" She massaged her temples. "After everything that's happened, we just want a nice _quiet_," She put such emphasis on "quiet" that her throat hurt form the exertion of the word. "Engagement."

"Oh." Kagome frowned. "Quiet." She gave Sango a small smile, putting her hand over her's. "Of course. I was only doing this to make you happy, but if quiet's what you want-"

"it is," Sango replied with earnest. "It really is." She returned Kagome's smile. "Thank you, Kagome."

"Sure."

The hut was silent for a few moments. Sango sighed, her features relaxing. "Now this is lovely-"

"AH! AND HE HAD MAN BOOBIES!"

"CUPID IS SATANIC! HE'S GOING TO KILL US ALL! HIM AND HIS EVIL BEAR OF DOOM!"

Sango's eyes narrowed. "Miroku..."

"Inuyasha," Kagome said in the same deadly voice. There was a small crash and the sound of heavy footsteps rapidly pounding the wooden stairs outside before the hanyou and the monk flew into the room, collapsing into heaps on the floor and sighing in relief. Kagome was the first to react.

"What in the-"

"Kagome!" Inuyasha lunged towards her, knocking her over (not the best move since her now short skirt was hiked up even more severely than usual, giving onlookers a glimpse of her panties) and throwing his arms around her middle. "Kagome, i was so scared-"

'It was horrible!" Miroku was yelling to Sango, her hand being clenched in his own. "There was an over sized baby-"

"-And he had mutant flowers!"

"And his bear was from hell-"

"-And there was all this..._pink_!"

"-And he was a minion from Cupid-"

"And the flying paper of evil!"

"And the pink!"

"And the horrible flying candy!"

"And the PINK!"

"And the-'

"PINK!"

"SIT!" Kagome bellowed the same time Sango smacked Miroku; Miroku tumbled to the ground and Inuyasha slammed to the floor, both men groaning into the floorboards. Sango and Kagome shook their heads.

"Idiots," Shippou mumbled.

"Mew," Kirara agreed.

"Some quiet engagement," Sango muttered. Kagome's smile grew.

"So, should I continue my plans?" She asked, dancing on the balls of her feet hopefully. Sango gave her over-eager expression a frown.

And sighed.

"Why not?" She said. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Oh, thank you thank you thank you!" Kagome gushed, hugging her neck and jumping up and down. "This will be great, I swear!"

"Mmm."

"You won't regret it. Honest!"

"Okay."

"And don't worry; Naraku and Kouga and Kuranoske will all get along-"

"KOUGA?" Inuyasha snapped, his eyes wide as he looked up.

"Kuranoske?" Miroku raised an eyebrow.

"Are you serious?!" Both men said in unison. Kagome shrugged.

"Sit," she simply said.

Inuyasha slammed into the floor again, the heavy vibrations causing Miroku to tumble over as well. Sango smirked. Shippou laughed. Kirara covered her eyes with her paws.

And Kaede sighed.

"Maybe one of these days they'll get their own place," She quietly said under her breath.

* * *

I love how neither one of them cared that NARAKU'S coming. You know, they guy who tried to kill them all and ruined their lives?Revieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

(You know you want to) -Kelsey


End file.
